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WARNING: by accessing the Pink Portal and viewing any of the contents of this site you are forfeiting all rights to pursue legal action against Nentwig & Dabbitt Mining Co. (Official sponsors of this website) for any reason. You consent to the possibility of being chosen and boarded miles beneath the earth without access to the surface/sunlight for varying periods of time up to 2-3 weeks for ease of management and acknowledge the possibility of maiming, mutilation, catastrophic injury, illness, coma, and death that comes with the essential work of mining the coal needed to shovel into our steam engines like The Polar Express (2004) and for our big as fuck factories that turn oxygen into carbon monoxide in addition to uncovering rare jewels that we like to keep in our many, many estates in large glass display cases with padlocks on them unlocked only with a special silver key we keep dangling from a ring right by our king sized beds so we don't lose them. By entering the Pink Portal you confirm you are fully prepared to fight for your life if need be and have no qualms with lethally removing the many invasive creatures from the mines that worsen team productivity when the situation calls for it, and if you return to the surface you affirm that you will not under any circumstances attempt to bring attention to the existence of these creatures to any person, organization, news outlet or government body. You affirm that you will not ever attempt to smuggle out or otherwise steal equipment, weapons, or our coal/gems from the mines, you are aware that even if you attempt this you and whatever you are stealing will likely be swiftly destroyed before we ever have the opportunity to track you down and lock your sorry ass up. In accordance with nondescript Californian privacy laws you may request a copy of the data we have collected from you. We will not delete it. You acknowledge that absolutely nothing you have read is true or pertains to the story at all, that there is no story, and that you will not recieve dental.